It is customary for the family of the deceased person to send thank you notes to the pallbearers soon after the funeral service. It is a way of expressing the family’s gratitude for the pallbearers’ service, love and support during a difficult time.
The thank you cards don’t need to be long, but they should be hand-written and ideally sent within two weeks after the funeral service. We have composed 7 sample thank you notes for pallbearers and honorary pallbearers that you can use to get started.
Anatomy of a Thank You Note
Thank you cards for pallbearers and honorary pallbearers all follow the same basic structure:
- Saluation: Dear [person’s name]. If you are particularly close to the person to whom the card is being sent, you could open with: “My dearest [person’s name]”
- Expression of gratitude: Express gratitude and thanks on behalf of you and your family for his or her pallbearing service. A sentence or two will suffice.
- Personalization: The pallbearers would also appreciate a personal touch, where you mention anything special he or she did on the day that touched your heart, or his or her special relationship with the deceased. The personal touch shows that you put a lot of thought into writing the thank you card.
- Closing: End the note with “Yours Truly” or “Love” (depending on the closeness of your relationship to the pallbearer), and sign the card on behalf of your family (e.g. With Much Love, the Smith Family) or yourself (e.g. Yours Truly, Mrs. Smith).
Sample 1
Dear [Pallbearer’s Name]:
Thank you so much for serving as a pallbearer at [Deceased’s First Name]’s funeral. I am truly grateful to you and your family for your love and support at this difficult time. I especially appreciated your phone calls after the funeral service to see how I was doing.
With love,
[Your Name]
Sample 2
My Dearest [Pallbearer’s Name]:
Thank you for serving as a pallbearer at [Deceased’s First Name]’s funeral. You are a true friend. Your contributions to the service were a tremendous help and very much appreciated. I will forever be grateful for your kindness.
With Much Love,
[Your Name]
Sample 3
Dear [Pallbearer’s Name]:
Thank you again for your assistance and support at [Deceased’s First Name]’s funeral. Your service as a pallbearer meant so much to us. We also appreciated that you had to travel a long way to be with us at the service.
Yours Truly,
[Name of the Family]
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Sample 4
Dear [Pallbearer’s name]:
We cannot thank you enough for you service as a pallbearer for [Deceased’s Name]’s funeral. [Deceased Name] would have been so touched by your service as you have always been a dear, dear friend to [him/her].
Wishing you happiness, health and love always,
[Name of the Family]
Sample 5
Dear [Pallbearer’s Name]:
Thank you for serving as a pallbearer at [Deceased’s Name]’s funeral. Your kindness, love and support at this extremely difficult time is greatly appreciated by all of us. A true friend like you is there for not only the good times, but the difficult times.
With love,
[Name of the Family]
Sample 6
Dear [Pallbearer’s Name]:
Thank you so much for your support during our family’s time of mourning. We appreciate you serving as a pallbearer at [Deceased’s Name]’s funeral. You have always been a true and good friend to [Deceased’s Name]. We know [he/she] would have appreciated the kindness you have shown us during this difficult time.
Love,
[Name of the Family]
Sample 7
Dear [Pallbearer’s Name]:
Please accept the warmest thanks of the entire [Deceased’s Last Name] family for the support you provided as a pallbearer at [Deceased’s First Name]’s funeral. We will never forget your kindness and your support.
With Warm Regards,
[Name of the Family]
It’s The Thought That Counts
Don’t get too stressed about finding the “perfect” wording for your thank you note. It’s definitely the thought that counts.
The pallbearers are well aware that this is a difficult time for you and your family. Your effort will be greatly appreciated, no matter how simple the wording on the card.
Have you written a thank you note to pallbearers, or received a thank you card after serving as a pallbearer? Please share the wording of the note with our readers and us – we would all appreciate hearing from you!